My mom turned 70 earlier this month (Happy Birthday Mom!). A couple of days before the big day, I was on the phone with my brother about the gift we had decided to give him. During the conversation, I realized that we hadn’t planned to give her a birthday cake … So, I asked her “Hey, do you think we should buy Mom a cake?” His response was quick and unceremonious: “I don’t know! We are men and we are not supposed to know such things. Ask your wife!”
We ended the call, arranged the gift plans, and ended with “I love you!” (Perfectly within limits). I sat there for a minute, frowning. It can not be true. There cannot be things that men cannot know or think because they are men (and vice versa), right? What other things are forbidden?
I shot this internal debate and struggled with it for a couple of hours before it finally landed on clarity. Knowledge is the basis of wisdom. Knowledge along with wisdom gives us the ability to perform at our best in the world. The more we know, the better we can take care of the people and things around us.
Armed with this new determination, I took the question to the women (actually, I took it to a woman). I asked a friend, who will remain anonymous, “Are there things you would rather the man (or men) in your life not know?” His response was surprising. “If my man knows all things about women, why would he need me? And that goes both ways. For example, if I know how to change a tire and other things like that, why do I need a man?”
Actually ?! I’m going to say no! I am going to completely reject the notion that being a man or a woman restricts what a person should know. I am going to dismiss the idea that the other gender-specific information a person has limits their usefulness to their opposite-sex partner.
Life is about being the best you can be. It’s about power and being able to respond. Gender and gender roles have nothing to do with it. The more my wife (and all the women around me) knows about all that this life has to offer, the more secure and secure I feel. The more my wife knows, the more I know that she will be able to take care of me and our life when necessary. I want to know everything I can. I want to be the best that I can be for my wife and everyone and everything around me. Here’s my confession: I know how to buy underwear for my wife. When my wife is having her “Lady Moment”, I know how to go to the store and buy “Candy” (because that’s what I called the special sanitary products used during the “Lady Moment” special). I know these things because I want her to know that I have her back when she should need me.