Is your energy running out? Protection against psychic vampires
Forget the blood sucking vampires you see in the movies, as sexy as that is. Psychic vampirism is real and it refers to people taking your energy away. It is usually an unconscious process, they are not aware of it. You or I could do it sometimes too. These people who do it all the time tend to be toxic personalities, if they don’t meet the criteria for a personality disorder. They can make you feel tired, angry, or depressed. It can build up over time. Have you ever disliked someone without knowing why? Didn’t you like a vibe someone gave off?
Pay attention and keep your distance. Our own negativity can also wear us down. This is why so many people who are depressed suffer from fatigue. Have you found yourself saying why am I so mad at this person, when you usually don’t get that mad, you may be losing your mind? People who don’t take into account your feelings, only their own, yes, deranged personalities and psychic vampires, they probably are. People who are most likely to be psychic vampires are: your narcissists, histrionics (attention seekers), depressed people, sociopaths, dependent or codependent personalities, and physically ill people.
Yes, we are all toxic from time to time. The focus here is on permanent toxins. And while we can’t change the other person, we can improve ourselves or leave the relationship. You could be saying, shit, that’s everyone. Well, it can be everyone to different degrees and times. And no, you can’t hang around your house and avoid people, that’s not healthy. You learn to protect yourself and detect them. There are many things you can do to protect yourself.
1. If you can, stay away from them. Get them out of your life if possible, if they are not willing to change. If you can’t, then avoid them as much as possible. You can also experiment with the dynamics, the conversations, to see how that changes the energy. You may want to keep conversations short or just via email or text. This tends to be a problem mostly in the workplace and in families. You’re stuck with these people. If it’s too toxic, a job change may be in order. We all know it too well; nevertheless; Given the economy, that exit might not be an option. Although you’d be surprised how many people are leaving toxic workplaces and starting their own businesses. If you must work with these people, try some or all of these methods, some are mental and some are more spiritual.
2. It is always useful to use reframes, which means you change your point of view about something. Think about things differently. Look at your co-workers who may seem in denial and find out how they think about things. Not overreacting and not taking things personally is fundamental, essential. You see, the world resolves around each person. We all live in our own world and make it about ourselves, so that person who vampirizes you is operating from that position. So taking it personally is useless. Let me be clear here, I’m not telling you to just think positive and ignore your feelings. Feel them, but find ways to let it go, let it out, don’t hold it in, and take action. If the following spiritual solutions are not for you, you will need to master the thinking piece (cognitive reframing) as well as the next one.
3. Establish borders and limits with people. Know what you need and make sure you get it, or at least as much as you can. Take your lunch, hell, they don’t pay you for it. Close the door to your office or bedroom, whatever it takes to have that balance between social life, work and home. Say no to those who ask too much of you. You can’t please everyone, and buyers just want what they want and don’t care about you anyway. You don’t owe anyone more than you agreed to. If you agree too much, modify the contract. You can change your mind. Don’t take on more projects at work that leave you burnt out, feeling guilty, stressed out and wasting personal and family time.
Narcissists and sociopaths are masters at projecting blame onto people. It’s their fault usually because they’re too incompetent to do what they’re asking to begin with. Also, don’t take a job you don’t have to do if you don’t get positive reinforcement for it. If they don’t treat you well, why do anything else for that person? You can’t change people, only yourself and some of the dynamics. For example, changing the way you respond to a particular person may result in a different response from them. They will sabotage at first, as they want things to stay the way they are. But over time they can change a little, but only a little. You can’t fix people and make them what you want them to be. Accept it and your life will change for the better. It will always be a balancing act. If you do something you don’t want to do and you know it will stress you out but benefit you, then maybe do it. Think it through, instead of just saying yes.
4. Give to those who give back. If you have a martyr complex, it’s time to turn the page. Thinking that you will get good karma or a place in heaven by overdoing it for others is unhealthy and your motives are messed up. I’m not advocating apathy here, but fairness. There has to be a give and take. Give to those who make you feel good, who care for you and support you. That’s where you put your energy. If you are a professional caregiver, then you need a lot of personal care. Have you given and given to people who only seem to take? Do you really think they’ll return the favor? Why would they? They have someone they can turn to and get their needs met.
Giving to these people makes you feel resentful, hurt, angry, and unappreciated. So if you’re not getting enough, stop giving and give back to yourself. Take a bath, go for a walk, appreciate nature, take a vacation or stay, garden, exercise, do yoga, tai chi or qigong, meditate, etc. Women who work out in testosterone-dominant places, run, lift weights, but also do exercises like belly dancing, nia and pilates to get back in touch with their femininity.
5. Follow feng shui practices. This involves placing things in a room to increase the positive flow of chi or energy. You can also improve certain areas to improve wealth, health, relationships, etc. The goal of this purpose is to keep the chi flowing to block out negativity. Have you ever noticed how changing a comforter on a bed can change a room or how moving furniture changes the feel of a room? You want the room to feel good and focus on deflecting negativity.
Having dangling crystals or religious symbols that are meaningful to you, such as a pentagram or cross, either in plain view or hidden, also help protect you. Plants help too. You don’t want to be sitting with your back to the door. If you can’t change the desk, please put a mirror on our desk so you can see behind you. If you are sitting in line with the door, that is, if you turn your head to the side you are in line with the door, place a plant between the desk and the door and hang a crystal. If not, the negative energy will flow directly, attracting drama and negativity.
6. Crystal quartz is a great stone to absorb negativity. You should clean it from time to time by washing it with salt, ideally with sea salt, or letting it sit in the sun for 24 hours, so the sun and the moon clean it. Other useful stones include hematite, obsidian, onyx, amethyst, agate, aventurine, carnelian, and tiger’s eye. Gemstones are known to have many healing and protective abilities. You can carry a stone in your bag, pocket or bra or wear jewelry. You may also have some nearby.
7. Aromatherapy: If you can’t burn candles or incense at work, try aromatherapy burners, things you plug in or wear a charm. An amulet is a protective stone in which you put essential oils, it looks like a pendant. You get double protection if you put dragon blood or frankincense there. You can even rub some oil on the dolls’ noses. Scents impact how we feel. Negativity deflectors include but are not limited to: frankincense, myrrh, dragon’s blood, anise, balsam, basil, bayberry, carnation, cypress, spearmint, vetivert, and violet oil. At home you can burn white sage and other incenses that protect you and smell wonderful.
A word about the oils. They should be used only externally, in diffusers, a drop or two in a candle, several drops in a bathtub, etc. You can put them on your skin. I like to put a drop in my nose or on my wrists. Nevertheless; if you are pregnant or have a serious medical condition, research the oil before doing so.
8. You can also use the power of your intention through visualization to protect yourself. Imagine yourself surrounded by a white bubble of light. You may want to say something to yourself, such as letting the white light of the God/Goddess surround me and protect me from harm. If you don’t have a religious affiliation, just say universal white light or whatever works for you. Also imagine a blue circle above your head to let in positive influences. You can do this anywhere.
It’s best to start your day before you leave the house and anytime you feel like you need a little extra protection. At a minimum, it will distract you from any negative feelings you may be experiencing. Also practice meditation daily to protect yourself more automatically. If you find yourself in a contentious and possibly toxic relationship, you’ll want to reassess whether this relationship is working for you. Can energy be worked on using these methods in addition to psychotherapy and/or reiki (energy therapy)? Can both parties change or are they willing? If not, go away.
A word about working with, under, or having to interact with micromanaging narcissists. Know this about them, they are overcompensating for feelings of inadequacy by projecting them onto you. Maybe a father is like that. They create fires so they can put them out and feel relevant and useful (also known as arsonists). So overwhelm them with information. Let them know that you are either the expert in your professional field or the expert on yourself.
A word of caution here. These people are vindictive. So if you don’t stroke their ego or manipulate them, be prepared for retaliation. This must be balanced with standing your ground, otherwise you will be trampled. Also be careful around sick people, especially people with chronic illnesses or cancer. Without knowing it, they will take your energy, because they need it to survive. If you must be around them, seriously consider using some of these suggestions so you can help them while maintaining your energy and, well, yourself.