Surely you have had negative interactions with people; Someone cuts you off in traffic, is rude to you for no apparent reason, or yells at you in the store if you get in their way. A lot happens in our lives and we think, “What was that?”
Although you meet many kind and loving people on your journey through life, you also have to deal with bad karma from those who attack or act aggressively in your immediate vicinity. It’s part of life.
If we are wise, we realize that we learn both positive and negative lessons from them and we teach them lessons as well. Sometimes we don’t even know.
In fact, every person we come in contact with who elicits an emotional reaction has the potential to teach us a life lesson. This can be a positive interaction, like someone letting you go ahead of them in the checkout line at a supermarket when they have a cart full of items and you only have a few. This open act of kindness can make you feel lucky, special, and brighten your day.
You can also have a negative interaction, like looking for a parking spot in town for 20 minutes when you’re late for a meeting. You see one behind you, back your car up further to drive, and before you know it, a person is running in their car and pulling into your spot. When you jump out of your car, furious at this indiscretion, all he says is, “Well, I live here and it’s hard to find a place, so get lost.” This, I can tell you from recent personal experience, can cause a strong emotional reaction in many colorful ways.
Have you ever considered that negative encounters with people on a superficial level, like my friend who steals the parking lot, are just as beneficial to your spiritual growth as positive interactions? They are beneficial because every unpleasant interaction gives you the opportunity to step back and say to God, “What lessons do you want me to learn from this? How involved is my ego here?”
What lessons can you learn from the: pushy telemarketer who calls us at dinner and won’t take no for an answer? The selfish city dweller who steals your parking space or cuts you off in traffic? The selfish boss who takes every idea that comes to mind and makes it his own? The inept salesperson on Christmas Eve who makes you wait in line for 30 minutes to buy a last-minute but essential gift?
These and other unpleasant experiences offer you the opportunity to step back and look at the situation with compassion and tolerance. If you step back emotionally, calmly consider the interaction, and ask yourself, “What lessons am I to learn from this?” you may receive some surprising responses.
The challenge lies in having the wisdom to be able to step back from the event and look at it with compassionate eyes. A good dose of tolerance is also recommended, as you cosmically share a small corner of the planet with these people, as they are in the immediate range of your soul connection.
Your perception of the experience is also key to seeing things clearly. As Dr. Phill McGraw says, there is no reality, only perception. This means that the way you perceive things determines how you deal with and react to them.
How can you find meaning and discover the lesson to be learned from them?
Here are 6 ways to handle the negative encounter and learn from it:
1. Take a step back and acknowledge the negative interaction for what it is and remove the emotional response you feel about it.
2. From a loving place, contemplate why the person did what they did and try to put yourself in their shoes to get a bigger perspective.
3. Ask your intuition, your inner self, or God what lessons you can learn from this experience and then be still and still and listen to the answer.
4. Don’t overanalyze what happened and don’t hold on to negative emotions. This is not good for physical, emotional, mental or spiritual well-being.
5. Realize that there is a life lesson to be learned from it and every negative experience adds to your spiritual awareness.
6. In your mind and heart, forgive those people, bless them, thank them for their part in your gaining new knowledge and wisdom, and release them to the Universe.
If you go back to our list of unpleasant examples above and consider things, you might see that:
The pushy telemarketer is trying to make a living to support his family the best way he knows how. Show compassion and tolerance and be as courteous as he can.
over the phone and wish you success on your next call.
The selfish city dweller faces the challenges of living in the city, and after all, it’s just a parking space. Show understanding of his situation and release your frustration and move on. You will see that if you let it go in love, and not in anger, it is likely that an even better parking lot will appear to you.
Selfish boss who takes every idea he comes up with and makes it his own? This is an ongoing challenge and requires a lot of patience and tolerance. She must have her own ego challenges and insecurities to deal with, so she releases the resentment and blesses her every day.
The inept salesperson on Christmas Eve who makes you wait in line for 30 minutes to buy a last-minute but essential gift? Patience is a virtue and certainly required even more in those Christmas Eve shopping battles. Put yourself in the employee’s shoes. He or she is trying their best to get home too. If what you are trying to buy is that important, while you wait, occupy your mind with positive affirmations. If the clerk is making mistakes, keep in mind that he’ll soon be out of that store with his package and on his way. Don’t let your frustrations take place on someone who is trying their best in a bad situation.
You may be wondering how I view my encounter with the guy from town who steals the parking space. He taught me that I can’t control what others do, I can only control how I react to it. I felt anger and injustice and realized that I made a big problem with a very small piece of land. I bless him now and I thank him for this life lesson and I hope he has learned a lesson from me that can help him on his way.
Remember that every person you meet has their battles to face. Each one is also on a journey of life lessons from all their positive and negative experiences; whether they are aware of them or not. Seek wisdom and grace in every encounter, and you will find that compassion, empathy, and tolerance will become your sacred tools to understand and learn from even the negative encounter.